2013 List

Dick Cheney's Hunting Club

Mark & Lainey

Campbell, Glenn

Cane, Michael

Carter, Rosalyn

Cheney, Dick

Culkin, Macaulay

Franklin, Aretha

Jones, Tom

Lewis, Jerry

Marcos, Imelda

MacLaine, Shirley

Neighbors, Jim

Nolte, Nick

Owens, Gary

Regan, Nancy

Spector, Phil Circling the Drain Alice Brown, Bobbie Christina Buell, Ryan Channing, Carol Chavez, Hugo  RIP 42 Dylan, Bob Hall, Michael C Jackson, Joe Lewis, Jerry Lee Limbaugh, Rush Mugabe, Robert Murdoch, Rupert Phillip, Prince Reiner, Carl Thatcher, Margaret  RIP 13 Weinner, Michael Death Rattle of the Mariachi Heather Anderson, Michael J Biggs, Ronnie  RIP 16 De Haviland, Olivia Domino, Fats Douglas, Kirk Friso, Johann  RIP 56 Galleon, Donnie Galleon, Ronnie Honnold, Alex James, Clive Kimura, Jiroemon RIP 16 Manfredini, Dina Pei, IM Von Bulow, Clauss Wei Wei, Ai Rhinooserous Anu Barry, Chuck Busey, Gary Doherty, Pete Douglas, Michael Hasselhoff, David Kissenger, Henry Love, Courtney Pope Benedict XVI Sheen, Charlie Simpson, OJ Travolta, John Troyer, Verne VanWinkle, Rob (Vanilla Ice)  Wylde, Zach Weiland, Scott High Noon Drive By Todd Becker, Jason Brady, Ian Dourdan, Gary Dreman, Rebecca J Ebert, Rodger RIP 30 Ellison, Harlan Franklin, Bonnie  RIP 31 Funniccelo, Annette  RIP 30 Gleason, Steve Hall, Scott (Razr Ramon) Hayes, Wade Madden, John Marshall, Penny Parcaro, Mike Thomas, Orlando Beaker Full of Death TnT Andrews, Patty RIP 6 Bloom, Judy Caesar, Syd Gabor, Zsa Zsa Lee, Christopher McAfee, John Mengering, Dorothy Nixon, Agnes O'Toole, Peter  RIP 19 Pardee, Jack  RIP 24 Ryan, Buddy Sanduski, Jerry Sharon, Ariel Summit, Pat Webster, Michael Stiff Willies Mark & Lainey Buzzy, Ruth Fountain, Pete Garrett, Lief Goodman, John Graham, Billy (Evangelist) Johnson, Artie King, BB Lansbury, Angela Meatloaf Michaels, Bret Molinaro, Al Moore, Mary Tyler Reese, Della Rotten, Johnny Whorley, Joanne Hanging Chad Garrett Ali, Muhammed Ball, Reginald Maurice  RIP 29 Bates, Kathy Caan, James Carlos, King Juan Day, Dorris Kalashnikov, Mikael Kosin, Sultan MacGowen, Shane Mubarack, Hosni Nelson, Willie Nicholson, Jack Safer, Morley Vigoda, Abe Wilson, Owen Casualty & Effect Drew and Maryann Adams, Richard Assange, Julian  Brown, Chris Bush, Barbara Bush, George HW Bynes, Amanda Cecil, Henry  RIP 30 Clinton, Hillary Douglas, Cameron Fredrickson, Fergie Lee, Harper Lee, Stan Moore, Michael Nolan, Bernadette  RIP 42 Stewert, Kristen God's Waiting Room  Jim Andrews, Julie Berra, Yogi Carter, Jimmy Ditka, Mike Gallager Gifford, Frank Gorbachev, Mikhail Hackman, Gene Hawking, Stephen Johnson, Irving "Magic" Leechman, Cloris Lohan, Lindsey Mason, Jackie Rivera, Chita Shareef, Omar Le Petite Mort Scott Barker, Bob Castro, Fidel Hersch, Emile Jagger, James King, Larry Lange, Artie O'Hara, Maureen  Perry, William "The Fridge" Polizzi, Nichole "Snookie" Sorrentino, Michael "The Situation" Thomas, Helen  RIP 8 Versace, Allegra Beck Satan's Fingers Bryce & Kim Brimley, Wilfred Christie, Chris Dick, Andy Dole, Bob Eastwood, Clint Hefner, Hugh Minelli, Liza Moore, Demi Osbourne, Ozzy Pastrana, Travis Pop, Iggy Richards, Keith Richards, Michael Rosales, Mayra Turner, Ted Toe Tag, You're It Garrett & Alice Silpa-archa, Chumpol RIP 28 Bader-Ginsberg, Ruth Braxton, Toni Castellano, Tatillana Elizabeth II, Queen Gooden, Dwight Luncheon, Dr. Roger Mandella, Nelson RIP 8 Mueller, Brooke Munez, Frankie Murray, Dr. Conrad Ono, Yoko Rooney, Mickey White, Betty Wilder, Gene Mourning Wood Jim Bane, Barbara Bean, Orson Brooks, Mel Brown, Bobby Connery, Sean Fox, Michael J Jabaar, Kareem Abdul Noll, Chuck Palmer, Arnold Parseghian, Ara Philbin, Regis Plummer, Christopher Rhianna Turner, Tina van Dyke, Dick  Dead Kennedys Lisa al Asad, Bashar Bacall, Lauren Castro, Raul Garcia-Marquez, Gabriel Garner, James Landau, Martin Manson, Charles Reynolds, Burt Rickles, Don Rourke, Mickey Seeger, Pete Stallone, Jackie Stritch, Elain Wallach, Eli Williams, Katt

2012 in Review

Where was Frank Farmer when you needed him?  Sadly, not only Frank but all the 2012 Pool's teams forgot about her, too, and now Whitney Houston is gone. 

Fortunately, she wasn't the only celebrity lost during the year. 

Of note, Abdel Baset ali Mohmed al-Megrahi died, an early draft by High Noon Drive By (2011 House of Simmons Dead Pool Winner and 2012 runner-up), who acquired the convicted "Lockerbie Bomber" and captured 40 points for his passing.

But Justin Beiber's Bang Wranglers had the highest-point hit with baseball player Gary Carter, and took the year's top honors with 105 points, edging out the 101 points by the number two team High Noon Drive By. 

Undercooked Pork captured the ignominious prize for most hits with 5, while It's Not a Tooma had the first hit of the year with Etta James on January 20th.  The Dying Game, who ironically had Whitney Houston on their 2011 team, was the only team without a hit in 2012. 

Jack Kluggman added a solemn period to the year, punctuating the game with his passing in late December and giving Le Petit Mort 5 more points.

As the new year begins, we look with anticipation to the possibilities of 2013.  As The Lifeguard, I wish you all just enough success to make this a fun season. 

At Last

I shed a little tear this morning when I learned Etta James passed on. 

Jamesetta Hawkins was born in 1938 to a 14 year old mother and, as Etta claimed, legendary pool player "Minnesota Fats".  Her music career began in the church choir at age 5, but by age 17 she joined a group called The Peaches and started singing such adult themed songs as "Roll with Me Annie".  With a raw and impassioned voice, she brought both sex and tenderness to her R & B.  Her song "At Last" is still my favorite.

She had a long-lived fondness for heroin, to which she and others attribute her worsening health.  Friend and fellow addict, Billie Holliday warned Etta not to follow too closely in her footsteps, and Etta did her best to heed that advice.  But smack is a horrible mistress
Her music inspired lovers and musicians to use their passions.  The world was better for her existence and a little sadder for her loss.  In my heart she will be missed.

2012 Dead Pool List

As any Dead Pool is probably a moot point because of the world's impending demise on December 23, 2012 and none of us will be around to celebrate the victor's spoils, we can still have fun until the apocolypse.  Here's your lists:

It's Not a Tooma
Alice
Afridi, Dr Shakeel
Douglas, Michael
Fernandez de Kirchner, Cristina
James, Etta  RIP 27
Lohan, Ally
Lugo, Fernando
Minneli, Liza
Montgomery, Michael
Mugabe, Robert
Murray, Dr Conrad
Portwood, Amber
Rooney, Micky
Treska, Clayton
Tymoshenko, Yulia
Zohn, Ethan

High Noon Drive By
Todd
al-Megrahi, Abdel Baset ali Mohmed  RIP 40
Becker, Jason
Bradey, Ian
Dickens, Little Jimmy
Ellison, Harlan
Funicello, Annette
Gleason, Steve
Hagman, Larry  RIP 19
Hall, Scott (AKA Razr Ramon)
King, Rebecca
Manson, Charles
Paterno, Joe  RIP 15
Pratchett, Terry
Thomas, Orlando
Waddell, Sid  RIP 27

Picking Off the Weak
Chistina
Berry, Chuck
Bradburry, Ray  RIP 9
Carter, Jimmy
de Haviland, Olivia
Franklin, Aretha
Garret, Leif
Gooden, Dwight
Hawking, Stephen
Hefner, Hugh
Kissenger, Henry
Mandela, Nelson
Reed, Lou
Sizemore, Tom
Van Dyke, Dick
Young, Sean

Death Rattle of the Mariachi
Heather
Addler, Stephen
Anderson, Michael J
Bulow, Claus Von
Castro, Fidel
Cooper, Bessie  RIP 16
Douglass, Kirk
Galyon, Donnie
Galyon, Ronnie
Kosin, Sultan
Lee, Stan
Lewis, Jerry Lee
Lohan, Michael
Pei, I.M.
Simmons, Richard
Son, Joe

Justin Beiber's Bang Wranglers
Tim & Tracy
Caesar, Sid
Carter, Gary  RIP 43
Clark, Dick  RIP 18
Connery, Sean
Means, Russell  RIP 28
Murdoch, Rupert
Nixon, Agnes
O'Toole, Peter
Philbin, Regis
Queen Elizabeth II
Ryan, Buddy
Shallot, Gene
Sharon, Ariel
Sutherland, Tom
Williams, Andy  RIP 16

Runnin' With the Devil
Garrett
Ahmadinejad, Mahmoud
Ali, Muhammed
Calderon, Filipe
Chavez, Hugo
Cheney, Dick
Dylan, Bob
Goodman, John
Hall, Michael C
Harris, Shelby  RIP 10
Kimura, Jiroemon
McClain, Shirely
Mubarak, Hosni
Mueller, Brooke
Sullivan, Patrick
Wilson, Owen

Le Petit Mort
Scott
Barker, Bob
Borgnine, Ernest  RIP 5
Diller, Phillys  RIP 5
Ebert, Roger
Fielder-Avil, Blake
Gabor, Zsa Zsa
Ginsberg, Ruth Bader
King, Larry
Kluggman, Jack  RIP 5
Lewis, Jerry
O'Hara, Maureen
Regan, Nancy
Thatcher, Margaret
Thomas, Helen
Vigoda, Abe

The Dying Game
Trace
Alda, Alan
Bates, Kathy
Carrey, Jim
Dick, Andy
Ford, Harrison
Freeman, Morgan
Gottfried, Gilbert
Nicholson, Jack
Ono, Yoko
Ross, Geoffry
Sheen, Charlie
Sheen, Martin
Shields, Brooke
Washington, Denzel
Williams, Robin

Undercooked Pork
Paul
Adulyadej, Bhumibol
Andrews, Patty
Biggs, Ronnie
Gibb, Robin  RIP 38
Graham, Billy
Lee, Harper
Lom, Herbert  RIP 5
Martin, Tony  RIP 2
Molinaro, Al
Neimeyer, Oscar  RIP 4
Pincher, Chapman
Shamir, Yitzhak  RIP 4
Wallach, Eli
Wing, Anna
Wouk, Herman

Bringing Out Your Dead
Jen
Brand, Russell
Eastwood, Clint
Griffith, Andy   RIP 14
Hersh, Emile
Jagger, James
Lange, Artie
Lansbury, Angela
Mickelson, Amy
Perry, William “The Fridge”
Rourke, Mickey
Sandusky, Jerry
Polizzi, Nicole "Snooki"
Sorrentino, Michael "The Situation"
Versace, Allegra Beck
Wilder, Gene

Drop Dead Gorgeous
Alice 2
Anthony, Casey
Berra, Yogi
Bush, Barbara
Bush, George Sr.
Caan, James
Day, Dorris
Fenty, Robin Rihanna
Honnold, Alex
Humperdinck, Englebert
Limbaugh, Rush
Love, Courtney
Marshall, Penny
Nelson, Willie
Spector, Phil
Wallace, Mike  RIP 7

Another Year in the Books

As we celebrate the change to the new year, we tend to look back before we look forward.  In that spirit, I present to you a few words about the 2011's Dead Pool. 

In short, High Noon Drive By won with an overwhelming tour de force of 128 points on 4 hits.  TnT also celebrated four hits, but Jaws of Life shocked the other participants by A) scoring the largest hit of the year with 73 points on Amy Winehouse and B) scoring points.  Jaws of Life has been retired for 2012, and while not hung in the rafters, it is honored as the hallmark representing true luck--both good and bad.

Some other highlights:  Clara Meadmore, the world's oldest virgin, is no longer.  (Living, that is.  It is accepted as given that she remained a virgin.)  Andy Rooney, the eccentric curmudgeon from 60 Minutes, retired then died.  Those hardcore badasses, Seal Team 6, found and "retired" Osama bin Laden.  And Abdelbaset al-Megrahi spoke movingly on behalf of his benefactor, the late Geoffrey Ross-impersonator, Muammar Gaddafi.  Megrahi survives Gaddafi by 4 months and counting. 



Source: REUTERS/Ismail Zetouny

 

Source: Comedy Central via The Huffington Post



2011 Dead Pool List

Dead Leprechans
Alice
Carter, Jimmy
Cosby, Bill
Dylan, Bob
Eastwood, Clint
Faulkner, Gary
Gabor, Zsa Zsa
Hawking, Stephen
Il, Kim Jong  RIP 31
Moore, Mary Tyler
Nelson, Willie
Quaid, Randy
Regan, Nancy
Ringwald, Molly
Rooney, Andy  RIP 8
Sanborn, Eunice  RIP 15

The Dying Game
Trace
Bach, Sebastian
Baldwin, Stephen
Capriati, Jennifer
Dick, Andy
Houston, Whitney
Jameson, Jenna
Locklear, Heather
Lohan, Lidsay
London, Jeremy
Minnelli, Liza
Montag, Heidi
Peniche, Kari Ann
Roberts, Eric
Sheen, Charlie
Taylor, Elizabeth  RIP 21

Max iPad
Beth & Tim
Barger, Sonny
Bush, George, Sr
DeNero, Robert
Dole, Bob
Edrich, John
Ellise, Herla (?)
Hughes, Geoffrey
Lewis, Jerry
Lynn, Vera
Molinaro, Al
Piven, Jeromy
Rafferty, Gerry  RIP 37
Tarney, Bill
Tolle, Ekhart
Wallace, Mike

Jaws of Life
Garrett
Ali, Muhammed
Blake, Robert
Bruening, Walter  RIP 14
Calderon, Felipe
Ford, Betty  RIP 7
Garner, James
Griffith, Andy
Hall, Michael C
Nicholson, Jack
Perry, William "The Fridge"
Queen Elizabeth
Reiner, Carl
Thatcher, Maggie
Weber, Andrew
Winehouse, Amy  RIP 73

Do Me 2
Dave & Stephanie
Johansen, Scarlet
Rogen, Seth
Sandler, Adam
Santana, Carlos
Sarandon, Susan
Schiffer, Claudia
Schnider, John
Sellek, Tom
Shatner, William
Simpson, OJ
Smith, Willow
Snoop Dog
Star, Ringo
Stewart, Christian
Stone, Emma

Death of the Divorcee
Noelle
Belushi, James
Cheney, Dick
Douglas, Kirk
Ferigno, Lou
Goodman, John
Hamilton, George
Heester, Johannes  RIP 8
Inglasias, Gabrielle
Jackson, Phil
Jarreau, Al
Lynn, Loretta
Michaels, Brett
Obama, Barak
Seacrest, Ryan
Stedman,Ralph

Undercooked Pork
Paul
Ayatollah Ali Khamenei
Douglas, Michael
Dourdan, Gary
Frederickson, Dennis Fergie
Furlong, Edward
Garret, Leif
Klugman, Jack
Lamotta, Jake
Landsbury, Angela
Limbaugh, Rush
Neil, Vince
Neimeyer, Oscar
Nolte, Nick
O'Neal Tatum
Wing, Anna

Dying for a Man
Colleen
Breubeck, Dave
Clark, Roy
Cohen, Leonard
de Oliveira, Manoel
Diller, Phylis
Dimmock, Peter
Faulk, Peter  RIP 17
Guy, Buddy
Haggard, Merle
Marie, Rose
Rooney, Mickey
Russell, Jane  RIP 11
Sizemore, Tom
Vigoda, Abe
Wells, Kitty

TnT
Tim & Tracy
Andrew, Julie
Ballesteros, Seve  RIP 46
Biggs, Ronnie
Day, Doris
Demjanjuk, John
Guillaume, Robert
Hope, Dolores  RIP 2
Karl, George
Killebrew, Harmon  RIP 26
Lange, Artie
Monahan, Gene
Nixon, Agnes
Shalit, Gene
Snider, Duke  RIP 16
Zamfir

Been Jovi
Kerry & Dawn
Baker, Tom
Bonsall, Brian
Cirus, Miley
Fox, Michael J
Franklin, Aretha
Glenn, John
Madoff, Bernie
Mars, Mick
Murray, Dr. Conrad
Nimoy, Leonard
O'Neal, Ryan
Patrck, Butch
Van Dyke, Dick
Wallach, Eli
White, Betty

Oh God!
Happy & Yogi
Barry, Chuck
Berra, Yogi
Bin Laden, Osama  RIP 46
Conway, Jeff  RIP 40
De Havilland, Olivia
Doherty, Pete
Ebert, Rodger
Fontain, Joan
Gordon, Barry
Heffner, Hugh
Lesh, Phil
Love, Courtney
Manson, Charlie
Spector, Phil
Weiland, Scott

Death Rattle of the Mariachi
Heather
Aldrin, Buzz
Andersen, Michael J
Dale, Dick
Domino, Fats
King, BB
Kosen, Sultan
Lewis, Jerry Lee
Meadmore, Clara  RIP 7*
O'Toole, Peter
Pardo, Don
Ramone, Tommy
Rockefeller, David
Sharif, Omar
von Bulow, Clauss
Williams, Esther

Le Petit Mort
Scott & Jen
al Megrahi, abdelbaret al Mohamed
Aleksanyan, Vasily  RIP 61
Assange, Julian
Bader-Ginsberg, Ruth
Barker, Bob
Borgnine, Ernest
Gibson, Mel
King, Larry
Leachman, Cloris
Mandella, Nelson
Marshall, Penny
O'Hara, Maureen
Thomas, Helen
Tork, Peter
Wilder, Gene

High Noon Drive-By
Todd
Bowlen, Pat
Castro, Fidel
Clark, Dick
Ellis, Harlan
Francis, Anne  RIP 20
Funicello, Annette
Ledoux, Scott  RIP 38
Mitchell, Brian David
O'Neal, Redmond
Pratchett, Terry
Springs, Ron  RIP 46
Strahl, George
Thomas, Orlando
Wynne-Jones, Diana  24

Double D's
Dave & Diane
Arquette, David
Beckaham, Victoria
Bridges, Jeff
Busch, August, IV
Fabio
Garlits, Don
Gifford, Frank
Mellencamp, John
Osbourne, Ozzy
Petty, Richard
Philbin, Regis
Richards, Keith
Rourke, Mickey
Spears, Brittany
Swit, Loretta

2010, A Retrospective--UPDATED!!

As we look forward to the new year, I can't help but feel a twinge of sadness remembering those we've lost.  Dennis Hopper, and Cory Haim!  Kama Chinen and Josephine Ray!  More than half of the teams had hits this year, and TnT wins for most hits with 6!  Jaws of Life goes without, yet again, but Bring Out Your Dead gains a hit redeeming the family name. 

The prize winner, however, appears to be Undercooked Pork, totaling 198 points and garnering the trophy, the winnings and many accolades from near and far.

The year had its share of controversy.  Chemical Ali died by execution and yet the Lifeguard still awarded points in a curious twist of the Saddam Hussein Rule.  The Lockerbie Bomber was released from prison with liver cancer on "humanitarian" grounds only to receive a hero's welcome in Lebanon and survive the year.  And Japan released a statement that, through poor census taking techniques, bad monitoring of social benefits and widespread greed, many of the oldest Japanese have actually been dead for a while.  While this sent ripples of murmuring through the Western practitioners of Eastern medicine and their claims of longer life (actually no, it didn't.  It was quietly ignored.....) Kama Chinen was still well documented and confirmed as having lived for 114 years and now is deceased. 

And now we prepare ourselves for the coming year and the surprises that lay in waiting.  Will Charlie Sheen cheat the Grim Reaper one more year?  Who will be this year's Princess Diana, shocking everyone with the tragedy that is our grief?  What teams will we see accept this challenge for the coming year?

Look over the Rules, put your list together and join us for the 2011 Hangover Recovery and Dead Pool Draft on January 1.

UPDATE -- January 2, 2011

As exhibited in the Comments (below), I am not always right.  In fact, I make it a habit to commit at least 3 mistakes every day.  This keeps me humble.  So I would like to amend the above statements. 

1. Abdel Baset al-Megrahi is dying of prostate cancer.  I wrote "liver."  I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV.
2. The Lockerbie Bomber was released to Libya.  I wrote "Lebanon."  I'm not a cartographer, either. 
3. Our US media and government reported the release on "humanitarian grounds" rather than the more appropriate "compassionate" grounds.
4. As reported in The Guardian, a British newspaper, cables released through WikiLeaks suggest, "Muammar Gaddafi, the Libyan leader, made explicit and "thuggish" threats to halt all trade deals with Britain and harass embassy staff if Megrahi remained in jail, the cables show. At the same time "a parade of treats" was offered by Libya to the Scottish devolved administration if it agreed to let him go, though the cable says they were turned down."

I thank all of my readers in helping to this a better blog.