2013 List

Dick Cheney's Hunting Club

Mark & Lainey

Campbell, Glenn

Cane, Michael

Carter, Rosalyn

Cheney, Dick

Culkin, Macaulay

Franklin, Aretha

Jones, Tom

Lewis, Jerry

Marcos, Imelda

MacLaine, Shirley

Neighbors, Jim

Nolte, Nick

Owens, Gary

Regan, Nancy

Spector, Phil Circling the Drain Alice Brown, Bobbie Christina Buell, Ryan Channing, Carol Chavez, Hugo  RIP 42 Dylan, Bob Hall, Michael C Jackson, Joe Lewis, Jerry Lee Limbaugh, Rush Mugabe, Robert Murdoch, Rupert Phillip, Prince Reiner, Carl Thatcher, Margaret  RIP 13 Weinner, Michael Death Rattle of the Mariachi Heather Anderson, Michael J Biggs, Ronnie  RIP 16 De Haviland, Olivia Domino, Fats Douglas, Kirk Friso, Johann  RIP 56 Galleon, Donnie Galleon, Ronnie Honnold, Alex James, Clive Kimura, Jiroemon RIP 16 Manfredini, Dina Pei, IM Von Bulow, Clauss Wei Wei, Ai Rhinooserous Anu Barry, Chuck Busey, Gary Doherty, Pete Douglas, Michael Hasselhoff, David Kissenger, Henry Love, Courtney Pope Benedict XVI Sheen, Charlie Simpson, OJ Travolta, John Troyer, Verne VanWinkle, Rob (Vanilla Ice)  Wylde, Zach Weiland, Scott High Noon Drive By Todd Becker, Jason Brady, Ian Dourdan, Gary Dreman, Rebecca J Ebert, Rodger RIP 30 Ellison, Harlan Franklin, Bonnie  RIP 31 Funniccelo, Annette  RIP 30 Gleason, Steve Hall, Scott (Razr Ramon) Hayes, Wade Madden, John Marshall, Penny Parcaro, Mike Thomas, Orlando Beaker Full of Death TnT Andrews, Patty RIP 6 Bloom, Judy Caesar, Syd Gabor, Zsa Zsa Lee, Christopher McAfee, John Mengering, Dorothy Nixon, Agnes O'Toole, Peter  RIP 19 Pardee, Jack  RIP 24 Ryan, Buddy Sanduski, Jerry Sharon, Ariel Summit, Pat Webster, Michael Stiff Willies Mark & Lainey Buzzy, Ruth Fountain, Pete Garrett, Lief Goodman, John Graham, Billy (Evangelist) Johnson, Artie King, BB Lansbury, Angela Meatloaf Michaels, Bret Molinaro, Al Moore, Mary Tyler Reese, Della Rotten, Johnny Whorley, Joanne Hanging Chad Garrett Ali, Muhammed Ball, Reginald Maurice  RIP 29 Bates, Kathy Caan, James Carlos, King Juan Day, Dorris Kalashnikov, Mikael Kosin, Sultan MacGowen, Shane Mubarack, Hosni Nelson, Willie Nicholson, Jack Safer, Morley Vigoda, Abe Wilson, Owen Casualty & Effect Drew and Maryann Adams, Richard Assange, Julian  Brown, Chris Bush, Barbara Bush, George HW Bynes, Amanda Cecil, Henry  RIP 30 Clinton, Hillary Douglas, Cameron Fredrickson, Fergie Lee, Harper Lee, Stan Moore, Michael Nolan, Bernadette  RIP 42 Stewert, Kristen God's Waiting Room  Jim Andrews, Julie Berra, Yogi Carter, Jimmy Ditka, Mike Gallager Gifford, Frank Gorbachev, Mikhail Hackman, Gene Hawking, Stephen Johnson, Irving "Magic" Leechman, Cloris Lohan, Lindsey Mason, Jackie Rivera, Chita Shareef, Omar Le Petite Mort Scott Barker, Bob Castro, Fidel Hersch, Emile Jagger, James King, Larry Lange, Artie O'Hara, Maureen  Perry, William "The Fridge" Polizzi, Nichole "Snookie" Sorrentino, Michael "The Situation" Thomas, Helen  RIP 8 Versace, Allegra Beck Satan's Fingers Bryce & Kim Brimley, Wilfred Christie, Chris Dick, Andy Dole, Bob Eastwood, Clint Hefner, Hugh Minelli, Liza Moore, Demi Osbourne, Ozzy Pastrana, Travis Pop, Iggy Richards, Keith Richards, Michael Rosales, Mayra Turner, Ted Toe Tag, You're It Garrett & Alice Silpa-archa, Chumpol RIP 28 Bader-Ginsberg, Ruth Braxton, Toni Castellano, Tatillana Elizabeth II, Queen Gooden, Dwight Luncheon, Dr. Roger Mandella, Nelson RIP 8 Mueller, Brooke Munez, Frankie Murray, Dr. Conrad Ono, Yoko Rooney, Mickey White, Betty Wilder, Gene Mourning Wood Jim Bane, Barbara Bean, Orson Brooks, Mel Brown, Bobby Connery, Sean Fox, Michael J Jabaar, Kareem Abdul Noll, Chuck Palmer, Arnold Parseghian, Ara Philbin, Regis Plummer, Christopher Rhianna Turner, Tina van Dyke, Dick  Dead Kennedys Lisa al Asad, Bashar Bacall, Lauren Castro, Raul Garcia-Marquez, Gabriel Garner, James Landau, Martin Manson, Charles Reynolds, Burt Rickles, Don Rourke, Mickey Seeger, Pete Stallone, Jackie Stritch, Elain Wallach, Eli Williams, Katt

2012 in Review

Where was Frank Farmer when you needed him?  Sadly, not only Frank but all the 2012 Pool's teams forgot about her, too, and now Whitney Houston is gone. 

Fortunately, she wasn't the only celebrity lost during the year. 

Of note, Abdel Baset ali Mohmed al-Megrahi died, an early draft by High Noon Drive By (2011 House of Simmons Dead Pool Winner and 2012 runner-up), who acquired the convicted "Lockerbie Bomber" and captured 40 points for his passing.

But Justin Beiber's Bang Wranglers had the highest-point hit with baseball player Gary Carter, and took the year's top honors with 105 points, edging out the 101 points by the number two team High Noon Drive By. 

Undercooked Pork captured the ignominious prize for most hits with 5, while It's Not a Tooma had the first hit of the year with Etta James on January 20th.  The Dying Game, who ironically had Whitney Houston on their 2011 team, was the only team without a hit in 2012. 

Jack Kluggman added a solemn period to the year, punctuating the game with his passing in late December and giving Le Petit Mort 5 more points.

As the new year begins, we look with anticipation to the possibilities of 2013.  As The Lifeguard, I wish you all just enough success to make this a fun season. 

At Last

I shed a little tear this morning when I learned Etta James passed on. 

Jamesetta Hawkins was born in 1938 to a 14 year old mother and, as Etta claimed, legendary pool player "Minnesota Fats".  Her music career began in the church choir at age 5, but by age 17 she joined a group called The Peaches and started singing such adult themed songs as "Roll with Me Annie".  With a raw and impassioned voice, she brought both sex and tenderness to her R & B.  Her song "At Last" is still my favorite.

She had a long-lived fondness for heroin, to which she and others attribute her worsening health.  Friend and fellow addict, Billie Holliday warned Etta not to follow too closely in her footsteps, and Etta did her best to heed that advice.  But smack is a horrible mistress
Her music inspired lovers and musicians to use their passions.  The world was better for her existence and a little sadder for her loss.  In my heart she will be missed.

2012 Dead Pool List

As any Dead Pool is probably a moot point because of the world's impending demise on December 23, 2012 and none of us will be around to celebrate the victor's spoils, we can still have fun until the apocolypse.  Here's your lists:

It's Not a Tooma
Alice
Afridi, Dr Shakeel
Douglas, Michael
Fernandez de Kirchner, Cristina
James, Etta  RIP 27
Lohan, Ally
Lugo, Fernando
Minneli, Liza
Montgomery, Michael
Mugabe, Robert
Murray, Dr Conrad
Portwood, Amber
Rooney, Micky
Treska, Clayton
Tymoshenko, Yulia
Zohn, Ethan

High Noon Drive By
Todd
al-Megrahi, Abdel Baset ali Mohmed  RIP 40
Becker, Jason
Bradey, Ian
Dickens, Little Jimmy
Ellison, Harlan
Funicello, Annette
Gleason, Steve
Hagman, Larry  RIP 19
Hall, Scott (AKA Razr Ramon)
King, Rebecca
Manson, Charles
Paterno, Joe  RIP 15
Pratchett, Terry
Thomas, Orlando
Waddell, Sid  RIP 27

Picking Off the Weak
Chistina
Berry, Chuck
Bradburry, Ray  RIP 9
Carter, Jimmy
de Haviland, Olivia
Franklin, Aretha
Garret, Leif
Gooden, Dwight
Hawking, Stephen
Hefner, Hugh
Kissenger, Henry
Mandela, Nelson
Reed, Lou
Sizemore, Tom
Van Dyke, Dick
Young, Sean

Death Rattle of the Mariachi
Heather
Addler, Stephen
Anderson, Michael J
Bulow, Claus Von
Castro, Fidel
Cooper, Bessie  RIP 16
Douglass, Kirk
Galyon, Donnie
Galyon, Ronnie
Kosin, Sultan
Lee, Stan
Lewis, Jerry Lee
Lohan, Michael
Pei, I.M.
Simmons, Richard
Son, Joe

Justin Beiber's Bang Wranglers
Tim & Tracy
Caesar, Sid
Carter, Gary  RIP 43
Clark, Dick  RIP 18
Connery, Sean
Means, Russell  RIP 28
Murdoch, Rupert
Nixon, Agnes
O'Toole, Peter
Philbin, Regis
Queen Elizabeth II
Ryan, Buddy
Shallot, Gene
Sharon, Ariel
Sutherland, Tom
Williams, Andy  RIP 16

Runnin' With the Devil
Garrett
Ahmadinejad, Mahmoud
Ali, Muhammed
Calderon, Filipe
Chavez, Hugo
Cheney, Dick
Dylan, Bob
Goodman, John
Hall, Michael C
Harris, Shelby  RIP 10
Kimura, Jiroemon
McClain, Shirely
Mubarak, Hosni
Mueller, Brooke
Sullivan, Patrick
Wilson, Owen

Le Petit Mort
Scott
Barker, Bob
Borgnine, Ernest  RIP 5
Diller, Phillys  RIP 5
Ebert, Roger
Fielder-Avil, Blake
Gabor, Zsa Zsa
Ginsberg, Ruth Bader
King, Larry
Kluggman, Jack  RIP 5
Lewis, Jerry
O'Hara, Maureen
Regan, Nancy
Thatcher, Margaret
Thomas, Helen
Vigoda, Abe

The Dying Game
Trace
Alda, Alan
Bates, Kathy
Carrey, Jim
Dick, Andy
Ford, Harrison
Freeman, Morgan
Gottfried, Gilbert
Nicholson, Jack
Ono, Yoko
Ross, Geoffry
Sheen, Charlie
Sheen, Martin
Shields, Brooke
Washington, Denzel
Williams, Robin

Undercooked Pork
Paul
Adulyadej, Bhumibol
Andrews, Patty
Biggs, Ronnie
Gibb, Robin  RIP 38
Graham, Billy
Lee, Harper
Lom, Herbert  RIP 5
Martin, Tony  RIP 2
Molinaro, Al
Neimeyer, Oscar  RIP 4
Pincher, Chapman
Shamir, Yitzhak  RIP 4
Wallach, Eli
Wing, Anna
Wouk, Herman

Bringing Out Your Dead
Jen
Brand, Russell
Eastwood, Clint
Griffith, Andy   RIP 14
Hersh, Emile
Jagger, James
Lange, Artie
Lansbury, Angela
Mickelson, Amy
Perry, William “The Fridge”
Rourke, Mickey
Sandusky, Jerry
Polizzi, Nicole "Snooki"
Sorrentino, Michael "The Situation"
Versace, Allegra Beck
Wilder, Gene

Drop Dead Gorgeous
Alice 2
Anthony, Casey
Berra, Yogi
Bush, Barbara
Bush, George Sr.
Caan, James
Day, Dorris
Fenty, Robin Rihanna
Honnold, Alex
Humperdinck, Englebert
Limbaugh, Rush
Love, Courtney
Marshall, Penny
Nelson, Willie
Spector, Phil
Wallace, Mike  RIP 7

Another Year in the Books

As we celebrate the change to the new year, we tend to look back before we look forward.  In that spirit, I present to you a few words about the 2011's Dead Pool. 

In short, High Noon Drive By won with an overwhelming tour de force of 128 points on 4 hits.  TnT also celebrated four hits, but Jaws of Life shocked the other participants by A) scoring the largest hit of the year with 73 points on Amy Winehouse and B) scoring points.  Jaws of Life has been retired for 2012, and while not hung in the rafters, it is honored as the hallmark representing true luck--both good and bad.

Some other highlights:  Clara Meadmore, the world's oldest virgin, is no longer.  (Living, that is.  It is accepted as given that she remained a virgin.)  Andy Rooney, the eccentric curmudgeon from 60 Minutes, retired then died.  Those hardcore badasses, Seal Team 6, found and "retired" Osama bin Laden.  And Abdelbaset al-Megrahi spoke movingly on behalf of his benefactor, the late Geoffrey Ross-impersonator, Muammar Gaddafi.  Megrahi survives Gaddafi by 4 months and counting. 



Source: REUTERS/Ismail Zetouny

 

Source: Comedy Central via The Huffington Post



2011 Dead Pool List

Dead Leprechans
Alice
Carter, Jimmy
Cosby, Bill
Dylan, Bob
Eastwood, Clint
Faulkner, Gary
Gabor, Zsa Zsa
Hawking, Stephen
Il, Kim Jong  RIP 31
Moore, Mary Tyler
Nelson, Willie
Quaid, Randy
Regan, Nancy
Ringwald, Molly
Rooney, Andy  RIP 8
Sanborn, Eunice  RIP 15

The Dying Game
Trace
Bach, Sebastian
Baldwin, Stephen
Capriati, Jennifer
Dick, Andy
Houston, Whitney
Jameson, Jenna
Locklear, Heather
Lohan, Lidsay
London, Jeremy
Minnelli, Liza
Montag, Heidi
Peniche, Kari Ann
Roberts, Eric
Sheen, Charlie
Taylor, Elizabeth  RIP 21

Max iPad
Beth & Tim
Barger, Sonny
Bush, George, Sr
DeNero, Robert
Dole, Bob
Edrich, John
Ellise, Herla (?)
Hughes, Geoffrey
Lewis, Jerry
Lynn, Vera
Molinaro, Al
Piven, Jeromy
Rafferty, Gerry  RIP 37
Tarney, Bill
Tolle, Ekhart
Wallace, Mike

Jaws of Life
Garrett
Ali, Muhammed
Blake, Robert
Bruening, Walter  RIP 14
Calderon, Felipe
Ford, Betty  RIP 7
Garner, James
Griffith, Andy
Hall, Michael C
Nicholson, Jack
Perry, William "The Fridge"
Queen Elizabeth
Reiner, Carl
Thatcher, Maggie
Weber, Andrew
Winehouse, Amy  RIP 73

Do Me 2
Dave & Stephanie
Johansen, Scarlet
Rogen, Seth
Sandler, Adam
Santana, Carlos
Sarandon, Susan
Schiffer, Claudia
Schnider, John
Sellek, Tom
Shatner, William
Simpson, OJ
Smith, Willow
Snoop Dog
Star, Ringo
Stewart, Christian
Stone, Emma

Death of the Divorcee
Noelle
Belushi, James
Cheney, Dick
Douglas, Kirk
Ferigno, Lou
Goodman, John
Hamilton, George
Heester, Johannes  RIP 8
Inglasias, Gabrielle
Jackson, Phil
Jarreau, Al
Lynn, Loretta
Michaels, Brett
Obama, Barak
Seacrest, Ryan
Stedman,Ralph

Undercooked Pork
Paul
Ayatollah Ali Khamenei
Douglas, Michael
Dourdan, Gary
Frederickson, Dennis Fergie
Furlong, Edward
Garret, Leif
Klugman, Jack
Lamotta, Jake
Landsbury, Angela
Limbaugh, Rush
Neil, Vince
Neimeyer, Oscar
Nolte, Nick
O'Neal Tatum
Wing, Anna

Dying for a Man
Colleen
Breubeck, Dave
Clark, Roy
Cohen, Leonard
de Oliveira, Manoel
Diller, Phylis
Dimmock, Peter
Faulk, Peter  RIP 17
Guy, Buddy
Haggard, Merle
Marie, Rose
Rooney, Mickey
Russell, Jane  RIP 11
Sizemore, Tom
Vigoda, Abe
Wells, Kitty

TnT
Tim & Tracy
Andrew, Julie
Ballesteros, Seve  RIP 46
Biggs, Ronnie
Day, Doris
Demjanjuk, John
Guillaume, Robert
Hope, Dolores  RIP 2
Karl, George
Killebrew, Harmon  RIP 26
Lange, Artie
Monahan, Gene
Nixon, Agnes
Shalit, Gene
Snider, Duke  RIP 16
Zamfir

Been Jovi
Kerry & Dawn
Baker, Tom
Bonsall, Brian
Cirus, Miley
Fox, Michael J
Franklin, Aretha
Glenn, John
Madoff, Bernie
Mars, Mick
Murray, Dr. Conrad
Nimoy, Leonard
O'Neal, Ryan
Patrck, Butch
Van Dyke, Dick
Wallach, Eli
White, Betty

Oh God!
Happy & Yogi
Barry, Chuck
Berra, Yogi
Bin Laden, Osama  RIP 46
Conway, Jeff  RIP 40
De Havilland, Olivia
Doherty, Pete
Ebert, Rodger
Fontain, Joan
Gordon, Barry
Heffner, Hugh
Lesh, Phil
Love, Courtney
Manson, Charlie
Spector, Phil
Weiland, Scott

Death Rattle of the Mariachi
Heather
Aldrin, Buzz
Andersen, Michael J
Dale, Dick
Domino, Fats
King, BB
Kosen, Sultan
Lewis, Jerry Lee
Meadmore, Clara  RIP 7*
O'Toole, Peter
Pardo, Don
Ramone, Tommy
Rockefeller, David
Sharif, Omar
von Bulow, Clauss
Williams, Esther

Le Petit Mort
Scott & Jen
al Megrahi, abdelbaret al Mohamed
Aleksanyan, Vasily  RIP 61
Assange, Julian
Bader-Ginsberg, Ruth
Barker, Bob
Borgnine, Ernest
Gibson, Mel
King, Larry
Leachman, Cloris
Mandella, Nelson
Marshall, Penny
O'Hara, Maureen
Thomas, Helen
Tork, Peter
Wilder, Gene

High Noon Drive-By
Todd
Bowlen, Pat
Castro, Fidel
Clark, Dick
Ellis, Harlan
Francis, Anne  RIP 20
Funicello, Annette
Ledoux, Scott  RIP 38
Mitchell, Brian David
O'Neal, Redmond
Pratchett, Terry
Springs, Ron  RIP 46
Strahl, George
Thomas, Orlando
Wynne-Jones, Diana  24

Double D's
Dave & Diane
Arquette, David
Beckaham, Victoria
Bridges, Jeff
Busch, August, IV
Fabio
Garlits, Don
Gifford, Frank
Mellencamp, John
Osbourne, Ozzy
Petty, Richard
Philbin, Regis
Richards, Keith
Rourke, Mickey
Spears, Brittany
Swit, Loretta

2010, A Retrospective--UPDATED!!

As we look forward to the new year, I can't help but feel a twinge of sadness remembering those we've lost.  Dennis Hopper, and Cory Haim!  Kama Chinen and Josephine Ray!  More than half of the teams had hits this year, and TnT wins for most hits with 6!  Jaws of Life goes without, yet again, but Bring Out Your Dead gains a hit redeeming the family name. 

The prize winner, however, appears to be Undercooked Pork, totaling 198 points and garnering the trophy, the winnings and many accolades from near and far.

The year had its share of controversy.  Chemical Ali died by execution and yet the Lifeguard still awarded points in a curious twist of the Saddam Hussein Rule.  The Lockerbie Bomber was released from prison with liver cancer on "humanitarian" grounds only to receive a hero's welcome in Lebanon and survive the year.  And Japan released a statement that, through poor census taking techniques, bad monitoring of social benefits and widespread greed, many of the oldest Japanese have actually been dead for a while.  While this sent ripples of murmuring through the Western practitioners of Eastern medicine and their claims of longer life (actually no, it didn't.  It was quietly ignored.....) Kama Chinen was still well documented and confirmed as having lived for 114 years and now is deceased. 

And now we prepare ourselves for the coming year and the surprises that lay in waiting.  Will Charlie Sheen cheat the Grim Reaper one more year?  Who will be this year's Princess Diana, shocking everyone with the tragedy that is our grief?  What teams will we see accept this challenge for the coming year?

Look over the Rules, put your list together and join us for the 2011 Hangover Recovery and Dead Pool Draft on January 1.

UPDATE -- January 2, 2011

As exhibited in the Comments (below), I am not always right.  In fact, I make it a habit to commit at least 3 mistakes every day.  This keeps me humble.  So I would like to amend the above statements. 

1. Abdel Baset al-Megrahi is dying of prostate cancer.  I wrote "liver."  I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV.
2. The Lockerbie Bomber was released to Libya.  I wrote "Lebanon."  I'm not a cartographer, either. 
3. Our US media and government reported the release on "humanitarian grounds" rather than the more appropriate "compassionate" grounds.
4. As reported in The Guardian, a British newspaper, cables released through WikiLeaks suggest, "Muammar Gaddafi, the Libyan leader, made explicit and "thuggish" threats to halt all trade deals with Britain and harass embassy staff if Megrahi remained in jail, the cables show. At the same time "a parade of treats" was offered by Libya to the Scottish devolved administration if it agreed to let him go, though the cable says they were turned down."

I thank all of my readers in helping to this a better blog. 

"Breathing First, Winning Next;" Now Neither

The Boss, Big Stein, Manager George.  Whether you loved him, hated him or loved to hate him, one thing remains indisputable, George Michael Steinbrenner III was the most powerful man in baseball.  He went through dollar bills, players and managers faster than Montezuma's Revenge rips through toilet paper.  (Don't ask, but heed this caution: watch where you eat in Juarez.)

As he famously said in an interview on his philosophy and methodology of spending money on the Yankees, "Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."  His arrogance and myopia made him the butt of many jokes, and the caricature of George Costanza's boss on Seinfeld.  Manager Billy Martin tells many tales of the atrocities committed against humanity.  Yet through it all, he also was recognized as caring deeply for friends and family, for New York and baseball.  If he fired you, he would also make sure you were with means and ability to move on.

TnT gains 20 points.

George Michael Steinbrenner III
July 4, 1930 -- July 10, 2010

John Wooden

John Wooden is a hero to everyone, and I mean everyone.  Sales people, politicians, teachers, clergy.  If you're a leader, if you're on a team of any kind, if you aspire to guide people through the trials and tribulations of life, or if you like basketball, you either have been or will be touched by something John Wooden has said.

Rising to college basketball dominance, John lead the UCLA Bruins to an unprecedented 10 NCAA Championships during his coaching career in the 1960's and 70's.  In fact, during the 40 year run of coaching, he had only one losing season--his first. 

After his formal retirement, he wrote Pyramid of Success and started a motivational series of the same title.  His words have become ubiquitous epithets that thoughtful people live by and simpletons spout around sales conference tables.  He has had many imitators, but like any true icon, his work stands head and shoulders above the rest--but he wants you to join him in greatness.

John passed of natural causes at the ripe old age of 99.  TnT gets 1 point.

John Wooden
October 14, 1910 -- June 4, 2010

People Like Frank

I remember the first time I saw Blue Velvet.  Dennis Hopper played Frank Booth.  I was a junior in high school and the character of Frank freaked the living crap out of me for weeks thereafter.  But that was the brilliance of Dennis Hopper.  He completely immersed himself in every role he took on.  Remember him as the dope-smoking photojournalist in Apocalypse Now?  Or as Billy on Easy Rider?  He also appeared in two of my favorite westerns, True Grit and Hang 'Em High.

He directed, wrote movies, was a photographer, an artist and an art collector.  His modern art collection is one of the largest and most extensive in the country.  An offbeat man of dichotomies, he was registered as a Republican and he voted for Barack Obama in the last election.  He brought life to the antiestablishment but was also the spokes person for Merrill Lynch.

He fell into great depressions and fell further into drug addictions.  He successfully fought his addictions and demons and came back to film some of his most memorable films, including Blue Velvet.  And Waterworld.

"I should have been dead ten times over.  I thought about that a lot.  I believe in miracles.  It's an absolute miracle that I'm still around."

Undercooked Pork gets 26 points.

Dennis Hopper
May 17, 1936 - May 29, 2010

Returning to The Cabin In The Sky

A singer, dancer and actress, Lena Horne joined the chorus line of The Cotton Club in 1933 and was discovered by MGM producers while working in a nightclub in 1941.  Performing in numerous film musicals until she became disenchanted with Hollywood in the early 1950's.  Her departure became far more complete when she was blacklisted during the Red Scare of Joseph McCarthy's attempt to clean up the subversives in the arts.  But she was always the activist.  While performing in USO shows during World War II, she refused to perform before a segregated audience or any in which German POWs were seated in front of Black Servicemen. 

She appeared on almost everyone's variety TV shows throughout the 60's and 70's, and many of the biggest names of Hollywood and Broadway counted themselves among her close friends.  From 1961 to 1995 she won 8 Grammy Awards, including a Lifetime Achievement Award in 1989.  And I will never forget her when she appeared on both Sesame Street and The Muppets. 

Le Petite Mort earns 8 points for their pick.

Lena Horne
June 13, 1917 - May 9, 2010

He's Really Most Sincerely Dead

Given his small stature (4' 7" at the height of his career, but only 3' 11" during his acting years) Meinhardt Raabe stood out.  Best known as the Munchkin coroner in The Wizard of Oz, he was one of nine Munchkins with a speaking role: "As coroner I must aver, I thoroughly examined her.  And she's not only merely dead.  She's really most sincerely dead." 

What many don't know, Meiny also served as a pilot and instructor for the Civil Air Patrol during World War II; he was a spokesman for Oscar Meyer hot dogs--known as "Little Oscar, The World's Smallest Chef," he got to ride in the first WeinerMobile!  He was an accomplished horticulturist, had an MBA in accounting and also taught for many years. 

The Wizard of Oz continued to be a huge part of his life, and while his only theatrical production, Mr. Raabe got the most out of it, appearing in numerous historical reviews of Oz and Munchkin-hood. 

TnT gets their first hit and 6 points.

Meinhardt Raabe
September 2, 1915 - May 10, 2010

The End of a Dynasty

The regal and always dignified John Forsythe has died. 

Known best as the oil baron Blake Carrington on the television show Dynasty, he also had the uncredited distinction of Charlie Townsend's voice in Charlie's Angels.  Later, he signed a $5 million contract for his voice for the 2000 and 2003 movies Charlie's Angels and Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle.  This would prove to be his last commercial work. 

Born John Lincoln Freund, John Forsythe, began his career as a bit actor for Warner Brothers in 1943.  He took a brief hiatus from acting during World War II when he recovered injured soldiers who suffered speech problems. 

Most anyone he met became his friend and a friend for life. The stars of Dynasty and Charlie's Angels (1980's and 2000's) all remember him fondly.  His passions included golfing, flying, baseball, and horses (racing and riding); he first met Kate Jackson at the tracks. 

John may have passed on in person, but his spirit and voice will live on in our hearts.  Oh God! picks up 8 points.

John Forsythe
January 18, 1929 - April 1, 2010

Significant Sig, Debator and Pro Footbal Hall of Famer Dies

In high school, he competed on the debate team (his debate partner was legendary astrophysicist Kip Thorne). In college (Utah State) he joined the Sigma Chi Fraternity and was elevated to the the Order of Constantine (the fraternity's highest honor) and was also recognized as a Significant Sig.

An absolute brute on the football field, he was part of the Fearsome Foursome for the 1960's Los Angeles Rams and inducted into the Football Hall of Fame in 1982. He also appeared in 51 episodes of Little House on the Prarie--not the Manliest of television shows, but his hulking presence conveyed a strong gentleness on the small screen.

Merlin Olsen, besides having a great name, encapsulated many elements of what I consider A True Man's Man.

Sadly, he was diagnosed in 2009, and died after a short bout against mesothelioma.



High Noon Driveby earns 31 points.

Merlin Olsen

September 15, 1940 - March 11, 2010

A Lost Boy Now Lost Forever

Corey Haim, of The Lost Boys, and the Fast Getaway series fame, couldn't escape the Grim Reaper. Following a downward spiral into cocaine, crack and more, he bounced in and out of rehab and his career followed a similar path. A regular on the B-movie circuit during the 80's and 90's, he fell off the map until 2008 when he jump-started his career with Lost Boys: The Tribe. He's had more work in the past 2 years than he had from 1998 to 2007.

We still await the autopsy and investigation, but we know for certain that Undercooked Pork takes the lead with 62 points.

Corey Haim

December 23, 1971 - March 10, 2010

Not Having Suffered a Broken Hip, Mary Josephine Ray Ray Passes On; Clara Meadmore Still Available

It seems that every year the Oldest Person in the World dies. Which is a curious thought. If the oldest person dies every year, then the age of the oldest person would never vary much above the 114 that it is this year. But there have been older. And younger. Hmm. Interesting.

That being said, Mary Josephine Ray has died. And she was old. The oldest in the United States. There is an older woman but she lives in Japan and we're not talking about her tonight. Mary Josephine Ray, or "MayRay" as the girls around the home called her (OK, I made that up--but wouldn't you call her that?), lived life to the hilt. She was planning her next birthday party, a mere 71 days away.

She'll miss the celebration here on Earth, but now she'll have an angelic choir singing "Happy Birthday."

On another note, Clara Meadmore, the world's oldest virgin still does not have a boyfriend.

Death Rattle of the Mariachi get's 14 points.

Mary Josephine Ray

May 17, 1895 - March 8, 2010

Chemical Ali Meets His Maker. To Award Points or Not? The Verdict Is In

To detail the process of deciding whether or not to award points is to describe the history, politics and continued trials of Chemical Ali, himself.

Cousin and senior aide to another very bad man, Saddam Hussein, Ali Hassan al-Majid received his infamous moniker for ordering the use of a deadly cocktail of Mustard, Tabun, Sarin and VX gasses against 182,000 Kurds in northern Iraq in 1988. One particular attack against the village of Halabja in which 5,000 died--three quarters of dead are women and children--lead to his final conviction on January 17, 2010 and his execution by hanging on January 25, 2010.

Chemical Ali has received 3 previous death sentences for other war crimes, but his execution was delayed in part by the politics of the Halabja trial. It seems that the families of the victims wanted to make their voices heard, while the conflicting ideology of the Sunis, Kurds and Shiites left more argument than action.

Therefore, in my interpretation of the Saddam Hussein Rule, because Ali Hassan al-Majid was tried and found guilty for the Halabja mass killing, and because all parties agreed and carried out his execution within the year, 32 points are awarded to Cremation Station for Chemical Ali. And may God have mercy on his soul.

Ali Hassan al-Majid

November 30, 1941 - January 25, 2010

Oh God! Strikes First and Harder Than the Mariachis

Holy catfish! You don't pay attention, and things happen.

Oh God! actually has the first points of the year with the passing of the lovely and oh so womanly, Jean Simmons. (No, not that Gene Simmons. This Jean Simmons.)

Best known for her role of Varinia in Spartacus, she was also cast as Ophelia in Sir Lawrence Olivier's Hamlet. She had a long career on screen and in live theater, her final performance in Shadows in the Sun, in 2008.

She received numerous recognitions and awards, including Officer of the Order of the British Empire, Fellow of the British Film Institute and in 1958 accepted the Oscar for Best Actor in a Leading Role--unfortunately on behalf of Alec Guinness, not for herself.

Oh God! receives 20 points. And we will miss you Jean.

Jean Simmons

January 31, 1929 - January 22, 2010

1st Hits

Well, it's happened.

J.D. Salinger, the reclusive author of Catcher in the Rye has passed on at age 91, giving Death Rattle of the Mariachi first points for the year.

Sought after as the Holy Grail of interviews, he lived as an almost absolute hermit for the last 3 decades and although he continued to write, he stated flatly in a 1980 interview, "I write for myself, and I want to be left absolutely alone to do it."

Without an ironic tone to be heard, "Mr. Salinger, we hardly knew ye."

Jerome David Salinger

January 1, 1919 - January 27, 2010

Correction: Jean Simmons passed on January 22, 2010. Maraichis have the second hit.

Teams and The Celebrities Chosen

Here it is! Please review for spelling. And then keep an eye on your list and make sure you contact me if someone on your list passes!

Oh God!
Happy & Yogi
Berra, Yogi
Berry, Chuck
bin Laden, Osama
De Havilland, Olivia
Forsythe, John  RIP 9
Funicello, Annette
Gordy, Barry
Horn, Roy
Manson, Charles
Powell, Jane
Rooney, Mickey
Simmons, Jean RIP 20
Specter, Phil
Stuart, Gloria  RIP 1
Vick, Michael

Dawn of the Dead
Dawn
Alomar, Roberto
Bale, Christian
Bono, Chaz
Brown, Bobby
Hasan, Nidal Malik
Hatch, Richard (Survivor)
Hilton, Perez
Jackson, Joe (Michael's dad)
Love, Courtney
Murray, Dr Conrad
Perry, William "The Refrigerator"
Sharpton, Al
Sutherland, Donald
Thomas, Orlando
Tyler, Steven

Death Rattle of the Mariachi
Heather
Anderson, Michael J
Cage, Nicholas
Clark, Dick
Domino, Fats
Douglas, Kirk
Franklin, Aretha
King, BB
Lewis, Jerry Lee
Meadmoore, Clara
Pastrana, Travis
Ray, Mary Josephine RIP 14
Salinger, JD RIP 9
Sendak, Maurice
Wilson, Brian
Wolff, Tom

Bring Out Your Dead
Garrett
al Maliki, Nouri
Al Megrahi, Abdelbaset ali Mohamed
Ali, Muhammed
Calderon, Felipe
Chinen, Kama  RIP 14
Ford, Betty
Lemon, Meadowlark
Mandella, Nelson
Paisley, Ian
Regan, Nancy
Richards, Keith
Roberts, Pat
Rooney, Andy
Walters, Barbara
Wendt, George

Grim Reefer
Kerry
Billingsly, Barbara
Bush, George H. W.
Carter, Jimmy
Cooper, Jackie
Ebert, Rodger
Goodall, Jane
Griffith, Andy
Hawking, Stephen
Abdul-Jabbar, Kareem
Keach, Stacy
Madoff, Bernie
Nielson, Bridgitte
Nimoy, Leonard
Plummer, Christopher
van Dyke, Dick

TnT
Tim & Tracy
Biggs, Ronnie
Finn, John William  RIP 1
Harvey, Doug
Harwell, Ernie  RIP 8
Hope, Dolores
Jones, Johnny Lam
Raabe, Meinhart  RIP  6
Santo, Ron  RIP 30
Sharon, Ariel
Steinbrenner, George  RIP 20
Strahl, Chuck
The Amazing Randi
Tierney, Maura
Wetteland, John
Wooden, John  RIP 1

La Petite Mort
Scott & Jen
Aleksanyan, Vasily
Allen, Paul
Byrd, Robert  RIP 8
Channing, Carol
Diller, Phyllis
Douglas, Roy
Graham, Billy
Hasselhoff, David
Horne, Lenna  RIP  8
Lang, Artie
Lewis, Jerry
McCready, Mindy
Morgan, Harry
Phoenix, Joaquin
Winehouse, Amy

Undercooked Pork
Paul

Bonsall, Brian

Castro, Fidel

Dick, Andy
Douran, Gary
Edwards, Blake  RIP 12
Fignon, Laurrent  RIP 50
Furlong, Edward
Haim, Corey RIP 62
Hopper, Dennis RIP 26
Il, Kim Jong
MacCorindale, Simon  RIP 42
Rourke, Mickey
Sizemore, Tom
Tork, Peter
Wallach, Eli

Jaws of Life
Alice
Aaron, Hank
Blagojevich, Rod
Bowie, David
Bradberry, Ray
Busey, Gary
Chapman, Duane "Dog The Bounty Hunter"
Doherty, Pete
Faulk, Peter
King, Stephen
Morris, Neve
Nolte, Nick
O'Neal, Ryan
Rickles, Don
Stern, Howard
Thatcher, Margaret

Death of the Divorcee
Noelle
Abdul, Paula
Aiken, Clay
Brown, Chris
Diamond, Dustin
Fox, Michael J
Gosselin, John
Grammar, Kelsey
Hefner, Hugh
Jones, Jerry
Lohan, Lindsey
McCartney, Bill
Obama, Barack
Suleman, Nadya (Octo Mom)
Phillips, Mackenzie
Van Halen, Eddie

Cremation Station
Drew
Anker, Conrad
Ballesteros, Seve
Bush, Barbara
Carey, Mariah
Chemical Ali RIP 32
Garner, James
Meyer, Urban
O'Toole, Peter
Pallin, Sarah
Reid, Tara
Salmoni, Dave
Sheen, Charlie
Shula, Don
Taylor, Elizabeth
Wilson, Owen

High Noon Drive By
Todd
Bowlen, Pat
Cooper, Sierra  RIP 78
Davis, Al
Edwards, Elizabeth  RIP 39
Finch, Larry
Gabor, Zha Zha
Ginsberg, Ruth Bader
Gumble, Bryant
Henson, Lou
Joosten, Kathryn
Lenihan, Brian
Olsen, Merlin RIP 31
Pope Benedict
Queen Elizabeth
Rose, Dave

As the Urn Turns
Mary Ann
Barker, Bob
Bowden, Bobby
Dyrdek, Rob
Hogan, Hulk
Jenner, Bruce
Johnston, Levi
King, Larry
Kissenger, Henry
Limbaugh, Rush
Lohan, Michael
Richardson, Kevin
Rivers, Joan
Ross, Diana
Shelby, Carroll
West, Kanye

DOA
Paul B
Allen, Woody
Andrews, Julie
Arkin, Alan
Armani, Giorgio
Bailey, F. Lee
Baker, Howard
Belafonte, Harry
Bennet, Tony
Borgnine, Ernest
Brooks, Mel
Carter, Roslynn
Collins, Phil
MacLaine, Shirley
Martindale, Wink
Switt, Loretta

** A note about the pictures. All pictures were located using Google images and are linked from the website that published them. If I've infringed on anyone's copyright, please notify me and I will take the image down. We sincerely love (almost) everyone listed and pictured.